What Is It Like To Be A Whistleblower?
When I spoke up at RZIM, I didn't know what it would cost.
The journey has been far more painful than I could have imagined. But it has also brought hope and strength in ways I didn't expect.
Here are some snapshots of the journey so far:
1. Enduring retaliation and bullying from leaders and peers at work
2. Resigning from my job after it became toxic
3. Hiring a lawyer to avoid signing an NDA for severance
4. Reducing our household living expenses
5. Losing nearly all of my friends from work
6. Watching my friends and mentors endorse the people who mistreated me
7. Noticing they're silent about me and my story
8. Struggling to figure out what to do with my life
9. Sleepless nights
10. Inability to focus at work
11. Experiencing character assassination
12. Finding doors of opportunity are closed for inexplicable reasons
13. Paying for counseling
14. Traumatic flashbacks
15. Feeling emotionally numb, even with family and friends or on vacation
16. Receiving unsolicited, unhelpful advice - some of it from the Bible
17. Struggling to trust other leaders
18. Days of uncompensated work to organize my notes and records as I participated in investigations
19. Dozens of phone calls and emails to explain my story again, and again, and again
20. Learning who my true friends are
21. Making new and better friendships
22. Giving hope to those who've endured abuse
23. Knowing I told the truth
24. Honoring God
If you've been through a similar experience, I'm curious about what you'd add to the list.
If you haven't experienced this, I hope this helps you understand what it can be like.
I originally shared this on Twitter. In the replies, you can glean wisdom from other whistleblowers and survivors:
The Uncommon Pursuit community is here for you.
It’s a relational environment to be transformed for God’s mission.
If you’d like to participate, you can discuss this essay with us.
Your journey has been more painful than anyone but the Lord fully knows, Carson. What an extended, waking nightmare!!! Only the Good Shepherd could have led you safely, thus far, through this dark valley. Glad to know He's still walking closely beside you and you, with Him.